I hit the one-year mark of living in Nashville last week. 

Though I’ve had an official residence here for that long, up until this month, I hadn’t actually slept in Tennessee for more than 20 days in a row.  I started to call it my ‘TBD Life’, because every day seemed to bring a new direction. 

It’s been vagabond-y: riddled with car time, airport food, hotels along the highway, and far too many couches.  Since I packed up and left Orlando, my life’s possessions remain limited to my car, my dog, and six boxes in my parent’s basement, most of which are filled with books. 

It’s weird to live like this when you’re in your thirties, but the longer I live, the less I pay heed to our country’s cultural standards and expectations, because y’all, our country’s standards and expectations are jacked up.  And this truth was amplified and highlighted with the writing of Dig. 

Fam, I must share my gratitude for the support, encouragement, stories, and testimonies you’ve shared about what God has done, and continues to do, through the Dig project.  I know I’ve said it, but it was so humbling to write and process that content and your stories and encouragements made it worth every minute of effort, breakdown, and breakthrough. 

When I left Orlando, I shared with you that I had no idea what was going to happen.  I left a great job, a fantastic community, a wonderful church, exceptional friends, and a beautiful home for the unknown.  It was hard, but I felt sure about the fact that I’d been asked to go.  (More of that in the post entitled, “Child, Do You Think This is All I Have for You?”).

The truth is – all the kinks are not ironed out.  There’s a lot that’s not resolved, many questions that remain unanswered, and doubts which still flood my mental space more than I’d like to admit. 

But on November 7, 2021, before I even knew I was moving to Nashville, I listened to a sermon from what would become my home church only six months later.  Darren Whitehead gives the sermon, which is well worth the time if you can spare it.  In it, he says we think our lives may be headed ‘this way’ when in fact, they are headed ‘that way’.  We think we are working for ‘this’ and we find out we’re working for ‘that’.  We think we want ‘this’ but discover we need ‘that’.  In short, Darren tells us that our expectations and God’s expectations are not living in the same arena. 

That’s the story, I think, for many of us, and it is most definitely the story for me.  I have no idea what’s coming next but let me share some things before I carry on with this TBD life. 

I’m spending 2023 studying the word ‘believe’.  God has challenged me greatly with this word, uncovering places where my belief has become cynical, or where I’ve stopped believing in blind sight or walking lame or breathing dead.  He’s shown me places where I’ve stopped believing in the apostolic miracles that are done when someone who believes says ‘move’ to a mountain. 

And though I am working through this challenge even yet today, begging my heart to catch up to my mind, I’ve been greatly encouraged.  I’m being reminded every day that we serve a God of miracles.  The God of the 0% chance.  The God who parts seas and reassembles bones and makes the sun stand still in the sky.   

So, updates. 

First, by only divine intervention and blessing, songs have started to crack out of my soul in an overwhelming volume.  In a short number of weeks, 46 songs have come alive, and a handful produced to demos.  (What?!).  I keep telling people I didn’t move to Nashville for music and the more I assert that statement, the more God laughs at me.  I don’t know what will happen, but the songs are posted to the SONG tab and I’ll continue to upload them when I’m able.  If you ditch out of this page and visit the home page, you’ll find the SONG tab.   

Secondly, (and I can’t believe I’m typing this) on Saturday, by God’s grace alone, I completed the second book of The Refuge Trilogy.  Book Two, The Red, is now in editorial and is set for publication in early 2024!  The story is adventurous and a little romantic, but most importantly, it honors human life in its various expressions, challenging our thoughts of family, belonging, forgiveness, and race relations.  I can’t wait for you to read it.  And yes, this one ends on a cliff hanger too, so prepare yo’self. 

Fam, I have no idea what’s coming next, or how I’ll survive it, but there is a certain freedom in letting go.  Pray while I test the limits of my soul in that. 

Here’s to pushing back the horizon. 

-Nic

IG Artist @wherehappinesshappens

Many of you continue to ask into the wellbeing of my ride-or-die, and I thank you for it.  Samson is doing very well for his nearly ten-year-old frame.  He maintains 150 pounds like it’s nothing, snores like a freight train, and can still wilt a plant with his pee stream.  He thrives in the less-oppressive weather of Tennessee and goes on miles-long hikes with me on the reg.  He went to many of my nieces’ and nephews’ flag football and softball games, and became the unofficial mascot to three different teams.  Apart from defecating in the end zone, running across the football field mid-game, and distracting our team’s entire defensive squad while they were on the sideline, he had a flawless season and will return to the field in the fall.