i attended a funeral service for a man who passed away recently. 

he lived a good, long, healthy life.  he just got sick at the end with a nasty cancer that beat him to the finish line. 

at the man’s service there were two things that stood out to me:  the parade of men who spoke for him; and the way his spent his t’s.   

let me start with the parade of men.  there aren’t a lot of men i know who have true brotherhoods, but this guy had a slew of them.  it wasn’t one man who was a close friend, it was nine.  and that doesn’t happen by accident. 

this dude fostered rich relationship with these guys, and as a result, nine men spoke at his funeral.  nine men called him ‘brother’.  nine men knew him so intimately they could tell stories about him from decades ago, and stories about him from the week before he died. 

and then there are the three t’s:  time.  talent.  and treasure. 

these are the things that each of has been given.  they range from person to person, each individual unique in what we’re given.  varying amounts of time we’ll get; varying talents and abilities we carry with us; varying resources, or “treasures”. 

at the funeral, the brotherhood didn’t cease commenting on how wisely, how carefully the deceased had spent his t’s.  what he’d chosen to invest his time in – rich relationships, serving the community, traveling the world, and challenging his friends and family.  what he’d chosen to do with his talents – creating, building, applying things only he could.  how intentionally he’d spent his treasure – his resources. 

in his departure from this world, the man left behind a tribe of people who knew him well, loved him deeply, and who were impacted by the way he chose to live.  and in that impact, in his legacy, he drew people into quiet and thoughtful reflection on how they would spend their t’s: their time, their talents, and their treasures, because it’s true that we can’t take anything with us, but we will leave things behind.    

and that’s where socials come in. 

as i’ve said from the start, this project isn’t about getting you off socials, it’s about sharing the freedom of living without them.  and this is a place of an important freedom. 

it’s the place where the three t’s thrive. 

can the three t’s thrive in a world with socials?  well, that’s up to you. what i can tell you is how the three t’s thrive in a world without them. 

time: that’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?  we all know the time sucking distraction that socials are.  they are the enemy of production.  they are the antithesis of focus.  they are a combatant of peace.  one pull of the thumb and forty minutes later we’re wondering how we got to the video of a ninety-year-old woman doing yoga.  socials are winning the battle for our time and attention.  and those are two of the most valued resources we have.  once they’re gone, they’re gone.  and right now we’re giving them away to the black hole of socials never to be found again.  in the case of time, there is great freedom in knowing i’m not giving away precious hours on this planet to the screen.  for me there are enough distractions fighting for my minutes and it is freeing to know that socials aren’t one of them. 

talent: our talents can be on display through socials, and it’s a brilliant way to share them.  the challenge with this is that much of the time we used to spend creating the product is now being spent displaying the product.  can one become an IG-famous violinist without spending hours mastering the violin?  can an artist display one’s art without first cultivating the piece?  can an athlete display the mastery of a sport without spending a crushing number of early mornings at the gym?  the challenge with caring for our talents in the age of social media is, once again, the battle over the appointment of our time and attention.   the truth is that we will have no great talent to share if we have not spent the time curating it.  and i think we live in a time in which users take to the social game long before they’ve properly curated and cared for the talent, and in the meantime the tool we hope to leverage to make us known ends up stealing our chance to create something worth consuming.  this is another place of freedom.  in knowing the time curating the talent is well worth the spend.  i won’t get it right.  i rarely do.  but i will know i gave it what i could.    

treasure:  treasure refers to resources spent here, and fam, socials have a target directed at our pockets and our souls.  what is a tool hungry for our time and attention is starving for our wallets and lifeblood.  ads litter the marketplace on socials, fighting for any chance to get us to punch in a credit card number and make a purchase.  the algorithms set to market porn to young teens and adults is astronomical.  a quick google search will tell you more than you ever wanted to know about how socials are being used to push pornography to both men and women.  socials are stealing more than financial treasure, aren’t they?  this place away from constant marketing, away from the constant battle for time and attention, away from the war against what’s being put in front of my eyes to tempt me away from true TREASURE – this is a place of great, great freedom.  and this – the freedom away from the fight for my treasure – is the one reason i truly wish i could talk all of you out of socials.  will we still be marketed to?  of course.  will we still be tempted?  always.  but we can make the choice not to swim in the temptation. 

here’s why the three t’s matter so much: the world awaits you. your great works.  the things only you can do.  the things only you can create. and time is of the essence.  it is irreversible and irreplaceable and counting down with every second. 

your attention is a critical and invaluable resource. 

your treasure is finite, and it is easily stolen. 

socials challenge all of these things at once.  all these beautiful, exceptional, limited things. 

i don’t know how much time you or i have left, but i know it matters.  your time matters.  every breath you take matters.  in this entire world, in all of history, in all of time and space, there has never been someone like you and there never will be again.  you are perfectly made and perfectly unique and you matter, profoundly.

what you choose to do with the minutes you have on this planet is up to you.  i only hope that through this project, you’ve become more aware of your relationship with socials.  maybe you feel a nudge to examine more closely how socials interact with your mind, body, and soul.   maybe you feel like you can take a break for a while and observe how you respond to life without them.  i don’t know what’s right for you, but i know if you’ve read this far, it’s not a coincidence.  something about a life unchained is talking to you. 

life out from behind the screen is waiting for you.  it’s brutal and it’s beautiful and it’s ever-changing, but it is life.  and it will be all the richer with you in it. 

this is life without social media. 

this is life. Unchained. 

love, Nic