“The hindrance in our spiritual life is that we will not be continually converted, there are ‘wadges’ of obstinacy where our pride spits at the throne of God and says, ‘I won’t!’.  We deify independence and willfulness and call them by the wrong name.  What God looks on as obstinate weakness, we call strength.  There are whole tracts of our lives that have not yet been brought into subjection, and it can only be done by this continual conversion.  Slowly but surely, we can claim the whole territory for God.” Oswald Chambers

Behavior change is really hard.  Changing the habits we’ve created over our lifetimes is arduous, unforgiving work and often it takes a lot longer than we’d like.  At the end of the day though, what we battle is not our little decisions here and there that make up what become our lives. 

What we really battle is the obstinate pride that tells us we can do life on our own. 

Our culture is one that does exactly what Chambers writes – we deify independence and willfulness.  We’re proud of, “I did it without anyone’s help.”  “I don’t need anyone.”  “I survived on my own.” 

The glorification of individualism is the real war. 

When we stop working to achieve our perceived ends; when we are willing to do hard things without audiences; when we can dethrone our feelings, choose not to worship ourselves, and position healthful living as an act of stewardship, thanksgiving, and ultimately worship, instead of a means to an improved self-image – that is when behavior change will become a natural part of our spiritual lives instead of a daily battle of doing things we wish we wouldn’t.  And all of these things lean upon this one pillar: to give up our pride and self-will and self-aggrandizement and be willing to accept the fact that nothing we have or achieve is our own. 

We bring nothing to the table except our weaknesses.  And we are welcomed that way.  May our acceptance of this inconceivable truth be the thing that sets us free from the burden of behavior change, and brings us to the foot of the cross to say, “Here I am.  Mold me.  Shape me.  Make me.”  And then, “Send me.” 

“O God, be Thou exalted over my possessions.  Nothing of earth’s treasures shall seem dear to me if only Thou will be glorified in my life.  Be exalted over my friendships.  I am determined that you shall be exalted above all, though I must stand deserted and alone in the midst of the earth.  Be exalted over my comforts.  Though it mean the loss of bodily comfort and the carrying of heavy crosses, I shall keep my vow I made this day before you.  Be exalted over my reputation.  Make me ambitious to please you even if as a result I must sink into obscurity and my name be forgotten as a dream.  Rise, O Lord, into your proper place of honor, above my ambitions, above my likes and dislikes, above my family, my health, and even my life itself.” AW Tozer